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This article is rated SMA, meaning it is suggested for mature audiences, so readers are strongly cautioned. |
"The Yusus Tavoli Show" is the fourth and last episode of the second series of Sweet Sow, and the eighth overall.
Currently, it is the longest Sweet Sow episode, running at 40 minutes long.
Recap[]
Mummy Pig and her daughter Peppa visit the the Vívíví in Spilled, Krockia. However, they are captured by Anwale Looges and are forced to star in the reboot of The Yusus Tavoli Show. Little do they know Looges has a dirty trick up his sleeve.
Script[]
(The episode starts with the scene of the Vívíví from "The Hitchhiker Who Came to Dinner," except it is longer.)
Voice: Vívíví.
(Before they enter the building, Mummy Pig and Peppa meet a guard who works there.)
Guard: (in Krockian) Please do not bring any children, as they are banned from here.
Mummy Pig: You’re kidding.
Guard: Nei.
Mummy Pig: I am Barney the Dinosaur in disguise and you’re Elmo. Right?
Guard: (in Krockian) Let's see.
(The guard morphs into the floating head of John Wayne Gacy.)
Dan: Can you please be quiet. I’m trying to watch Franny's Feet.
Peppa: (offscreen; in Daddy Pig's voice) Shut the fuck up. You’re a creepy pedo.
Dan: WAAH! (disappears)
Guard: Prepare to d-
(Lightning strikes on the guard, and Marvey flies down.)
Marvey: Marvey Harvey, Harvey Marvey. My dear children...
Hitchhiker: I am not your child.
Marvey: Son, you shall sleep.
Dan: I love my feet.
Marvey: Sleep.
Dan: I can’t.
Marvey: Ignacio...
Dan: Seriously?
(Dan gets frozen into ice.)
Peppa: Who is that Anwale guy?
Mummy Pig: He's an extraterrestrial human being who-
Voice: Sweet Sow has been banned in the Island of Soda.
Mummy Pig: Fuck you voiceover guy! Stop banning everything or else!
Voice: Or else what?
(Mummy Pig shoots lasers out of her eyes, causing the voice to fade away.)
Mummy Pig: That bitch deserves it anyways.
Toby: I AM NOT A FUCKING MONKEY! NOW STOP CALLING ME A MONKEY!
Marvey: (talking to Toby) Ignacio, my dearest son...
(For some reason, Toby can no longer speak.)
Voice: Who is this?
Marvey: What?
Voice: Rolf Harris is Toby’s waifu.
Marvey: Oh no. My dearest Ignacio has escaped the means of reality, and has become surreal.
Hitchhiker: I want a major role in this episode, unlike the previous two.
Marvey: (to the hitchhiker) Come to me.
Hitchhiker: No thanks!
Marvey: Come.
Anwale Looges: Is Mummy Pig here?
Mummy Pig: Of course. What do you want?
Anwale Looges: Please feature on The Yusus Tavoli Show or else...
Mummy Pig: (says something that sounds like either "Bullshit!" or "Bullfuck!")
Anwale Looges: Alright. If you wanna get captured by me.
Mummy Pig: Oh, hell naw!
Peppa: You have to capture me, if you want to capture mummy.
Anwale Looges: You too, Peppa.
Peppa: Capture Dan Schneider instead. He deserves it.
Anwale Looges: Nope. Just you and your mother.
Hitchhiker: Capture me!
Anwale Looges: Sure.
(Dan Schneider, who is now unfrozen, appears.)
Dan: Please capture me, too!
Anwale Looges: Yes, Dan. That's enough people for now.
Marvey: Ignacio, you shall hearsay me the name of the record player.
Voice: I'm afraid I have some bad news, Marvey. (pause) He's dead.
(Marvey gets on his knees.)
Marvey: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Peppa: Who?
Hitchhiker: He’s dead, Jim.
Peppa: My name's not Jim, dumbass!
Hitchhiker: Sorry. I’m extremely drunk.
Mummy Pig: Who died?
Marvey: Ignacio, my dearest son and helper. He was in a state of surrealism, and he ended up meeting death. Forever will he be inside of my (burps).
Dan: Hey buddy, when are we gonna get captured?
Anwale Looges: (in Toby's voice) Yup, but it's a little bit broken.
Dan: Please do it, anywa-
(Dan is frozen again.)
Marvey: (talking to Anwale) Ignacio! I missed you.
Anwale Looges: (in Toby's voice) Sorry I was busy.
Marvey: You must freeze all of your servants, to make the capturing more appealing for them.
Anwale Looges: (in Toby's voice) You are furry, right?
Marvey: Words of wisdom, though freeze Peppa and her mother.
Anwale Looges: (in Toby's voice) uh... no
Marvey: Please give us Dan Schneider's feet.
(Anwale burps, causing Toby's spirit to fly out of him.)
Anwale Looges: Excuse me Marvey, but what were you talking about?
Marvey: Give us Dan Schneider’s gigantic feet.
Anwale Looges: How though?
Marvey: Victorious.
Anwale Looges: Hmm...
(We see an x-ray view of Anwale's head, and his brain expands to an unusually large size.)
Anwale Looges: Alright, I'll try.
Marvey: Love Dan Schneider’s Feet or you shall-
Anwale Looges: I don't have a foot fetish, Marvey. I don't.
Marvey: Do it, or-
Toby: Sorry I was busy D:
Voice: Okay, I lied. He's actually alive.
Toby: Dan Schneider is a fucking monkey!
Marvey: Sleep, Ignacio.
Toby: Is he a monkey? Answer me.
Marvey: Sleep, and you shall fall into your true spirit.
Toby: Am I a monkey?
Marvey: Sleep.
Toby: Ee-ay. (falls on the ground and starts sleeping)
Marvey: There, there, my son.
Voice: (offscreen) Bertram Winkle, Yusus Tavoli.
Marvey: And tha-
Anwale Looges: My friends is how to get drunk.
Mummy Pig: Just go inside the damn building already.
(Mummy Pig and Peppa are teleported inside the Vívíví.)
Peppa: I wanna be like Jake Pig.
Mummy Pig: He's a dumbass, so no.
Peppa: No. Huh, huh!
Mummy Pig: Keep up acting like Jake, and you're grounded. Do you understand, miss?
(Peppa transforms into Jake Pig.)
Jake Pig: It's all day braugh! With that Kidz Bop beat!
Mummy Pig: That does it!
Jake Pig: Russia is a city!
(Mummy Pig morphs into Wagucorn.)
Wagucorn: Fuck off!
(Jake Pig inhales deeply.)
Jake Pig: BACON!
(Jake's head gets severed. Wagucorn morphs back into Mummy Pig.)
Jake Pig: Braugh.
Mummy Pig: Oh fuck, he's not dead yet. But if not, press cash.
(Jake transforms back into Peppa.)
Peppa: I love Jake Pig. He's my role model.
Mummy Pig: Stop liking him, or else...
Peppa: Stop disrespecting my opinion.
Mummy Pig: Don't touch me.
Peppa: Aren’t you a sex offender, though?
Mummy Pig: I'll fucking kill you if you say that I'm a sex offender one more time.
Bill Cosby: (offscreen) Hey, hey, hey!
Mummy Pig: Nonce.
Voice: Dan Schneider, Dan Schneider. Get in the van, pull it tighter.
Mummy Pig: Nonce.
Voice: Where will Dan's feet take him today? Nobody knows for sure.
Mummy Pig: Nonce.
Voice: ...sense! Dan Schneider does not have a wife.
Mummy Pig: Are you asking to wind up dead?
Voice: Peppa passed away from earth, my dearest Pame-
(Mummy Pig shoots the voice with her eyes.)
Peppa: (offscreen) Bitch.
Mummy Pig: Where the Hell are you, Peppa?
Peppa: In Hell.
Mummy Pig: Come the Hell back, Peppa.
Peppa: Hell no.
Mummy Pig: THIS INSTANT OR YOU'RE GROUNDED.
Peppa: Fine.
Mummy Pig: And stop saying Hell.
(The whole background turns into a psychedelic rainbow swirl, which causes Mummy Pig's dress to become red.)
Mummy Pig: Seriously, Dan? Put some fucking clothes on or else!
(The camera pans out to reveal a naked Dan Schneider with red eyes, standing next to Mummy Pig.)
Dan: (chanting) Feet! What will they do today? Feet! Feet! Feet! Pippi’s long-stockings! Leave it all to feet! Ignacio, our lord. Bring your feet upon us now and with your father.
(Dan’s face begins to melt, revealing that his head is the 1984 Nickelodeon logo foot variant.)
Mummy Pig: Another chills gone by.
Marvey: (offscreen; about to come down) Ho...
Mummy Pig: Oh, fuck!
Dan: NBC! Just watch us now!
Mummy Pig: No thanks.
(Mummy Pig starts to slowly transform into the NBC Peacock.)
Mummy Pig: NBC. Let’s all be there!
(Mummy Pig has returned to normal and is now in the elevator with Peppa.)
Mummy Pig: Peppa, do you drink blueberry vodka?
Peppa: I'm too young to drink, so no.
Mummy Pig: I’m going to do jumping jacks.
Peppa: Don't think about it.
Mummy Pig: In order to lose weight, I need to do one million jumping jacks.
Peppa: Not in this elevator, please.
Mummy Pig: Why not? I can do whatever I want.
Peppa: You could end up breaking another elevator, like what happened when we were in Olimu.
Mummy Pig: Oh, I remember that now. Some idiot tried arresting us for supposedly recreating some incident I never even heard of.
Voice: (offscreen) Come to Neverland, dear little dead children.
Mummy Pig: Nonce.
Voice: (offscreen) Little boy, come and play with me.
Mummy Pig: Nonce.
Voice: (offscreen) Hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: Nonce.
Voice: (offscreen) Shamone!
Mummy Pig: You know what? I'm sick of being bothered by nonces like you.
Marvey: (offscreen) Dear child, my dear son, Michael is not a nonce. He’s similar to a surreal saint, my beloved ones.
Mummy Pig: Please, would you kindly fuck off.
Peppa: Mummy, who are you talking to?
Mummy Pig: None of your business, Peppa.
Peppa: Hee-hee and shamone, little boy.
Mummy Pig: Don't act like that Wacko Jacko, alright?
Peppa: Mummy, you’re ignorant. Very ignorant. Now do not say Wacko Jacko to me again or there will be consequences, dear little girl.
Mummy Pig: I'm serious. Stop that behavior right now, or you must face your ultimate punishment.
Peppa: Little girl, you are not my mother as I am The King of Pop. Hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: That does it, bitch!
(Mummy Pig shoots lasers out her eyes toward Peppa, causing her to explode.)
Mummy Pig: Phew.
Voice: (offscreen) I’m still here, little girl. Hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: Well, shit. A little bone to wetten the war.
(Mummy Pig teleports to the black abyss in which Marvey and Michael Jackson live.)
Michael Jackson: Hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: You little shit!
(Suddenly, ImJayStation appears.)
ImJayStation: I am visiting Michael Jackson at 3 AM, the devil’s hour!
Michael Jackson: Hey little boy.
ImJayStation: Oh my god, it’s Michael Jackson! The creepiest guy who ever lived! Also, I’m almost 30.
Michael Jackson: I'm not dead, I'm just a supernatural entity flying with the wind.
ImJayStation: What’s so supernatural about you anyway?
Michael Jackson: You'll be living with my spirit, young boy.
ImJayStation: I already told you, I’m not a little boy, I’m a grown ass man!
Marvey: ImJayStation, my son. Contact with Michael, he will take control of your spirit for all eternity. Shillé for a new personality is growing within you.
ImJayStation: I don’t know what you mean, but sure.
Mummy Pig: Where’s Michael?
ImJayStation: Hey little boy, it’s time to come and play with me. Hee-hee! It’s 3 AM and I found a little boy that I want to have some fun and play pretend with. Hee-hee!
(Mummy Pig get pissed and shoots ImJayStation with her eyes, causing him to explode.)
Mummy Pig: Hopefully Wacko Jacko is gone forever.
(Mummy Pig teleports to her mega deluxe hotel room. It consists of 10 beds and a large TV set.)
Mummy Pig: This is the most magnificent room I-
Dan: (offscreen) LEAVE IT ALL TO FEET! ONE STEP AT A TIME! I'M DANNY! WHERE WILL MY FEET TAKE IT TODAY!
Mummy Pig: Oh, fuck! This could've been great if Dan wasn't lurking in here.
(Dan opens the closet which he is inside.)
Dan: FEET!
Mummy Pig: Please kindly fuck off or else!
Dan: Nah, I like it in here.
Mummy Pig: Fuck it!
Dan: Hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: I am fucking sick of people talking like that Wacko Jacko nonce! I am fucking pissed!
Dan: Feet!
(Suddenly, Marvey pops up behind Dan.)
Dan and Marvey: Shamone!
Mummy Pig: I will fucking kill you.
Marvey: Shillé, my little girl.
Mummy Pig: What the fuck does “shillé” mean anyway?
Marvey: To leave your emotions behind for me. Hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: For fuck’s sake! Just go away!
Marvey: (starts to float away) Ho...
Mummy Pig: You do know that I am not a prostitute. Of course you are, Peppa.
Dan: Can you kill me now?
Mummy Pig: But what about-
(FrankJavCee rises at the bottom-right corner of the frame.)
FrankJavCee: Memes!
(A couple-second pause before Dan starts talking, in which FrankJavCee disappears.)
Dan: Well, thanks for the idea, Uncle Franku.
(Dan does an epic dab, shortly before Mummy Pig shoots him with her eyes, causing him to explode.)
Mummy Pig: Thank goodness. No longer will I be annoyed by that foot pervert.
Anwale Looges: (offscreen) Can you step inside for a moment?
Mummy Pig: I gotta take a dump, so hold on.
(Mummy Pig walks into the bathroom.)
Agusti Chairdonai: Hey, guess what we're doing over here!
(Mummy Pig glances at Agusti having "fun" with Dr. Wily in the shower.)
Mummy Pig: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY BATHROOM?!
Agusti Chairdonai: We're making an extra swell movie vote communist.
Mummy Pig: Well, why don't you film it in another hotel room where no one-
(Mummy Pig gets shot by Proto Man and falls unconscious.)
Voice: And... cut!
(Fade to black. Mummy Pig wakes up inside the studio of The Yusus Tavoli Show.)
Mummy Pig: Where am I wrench loop?
Anwale Looges: You must star in the reboot of The Yusus Tavoli Show, or else.
Mummy Pig: Not interested, sorry.
Anwale Looges: You're in the script of the episode we're about to start filming. So you have to, or else.
Mummy Pig: Fine, if you say so. (stands up)
Anwale Looges: Where's Peppa, anyway?
Mummy Pig: Honestly I think she's dead.
Anwale Looges: Are you sure?
(Meanwhile, in the black abyss, Marvey is performing an exorcism on Peppa.)
Marvey: Push! Push! Push! Push! Push!
(A ghost Michael Jackson emerges and flies out of Peppa.)
Michael Jackson: I don't get to play with no child no more, how ignorant! (vanishes)
Marvey: After all that pain, your spirit is finally freed of.
Peppa: Thanks, Marvey. Now all I want is to be sent back to Earth.
Marvey: My dear son, lo and behold.
(Peppa fades out and appears beside Mummy Pig in the filming studio.)
Anwale Looges: There she is!
Peppa: I'm back. I've just forced Marvey to get Michael out of me.
Mummy Pig: Never mind.
Anwale Looges: And what about Robert?
Robert Raccoon: (offscreen) Doctor Who is shit! Jake Pig's human equivalent is fifty times better! End of ran-
Anwale Looges: Stop making GoAnimate-styled rants and get back to work!
Robert Raccoon: (offscreen) Fine.
Cameraman: (offscreen) Action!
(The doorbell rings.)
Yusus: (singing) We've got some vi-isitors for Yusus Tavoli.
(Yusus opens the front door and sees Mummy Pig, Peppa, and Robert.)
Mummy Pig: I hate you, Anwale.
Yusus: Please do not use foul language, madame.
Cameraman: Cut! Never should you break the fourth wall, daughter.
Mummy Pig: Don't speak like Marvey, okay?
Cameraman: Silence!
Executive producer: Ham Pig, who was supposed to be in this darn thing, has been arrested for being a pedo. So that’s why you two are in this.
Cameraman: Let's try again, and be sure to follow the script. Action!
(The doorbell rings.)
Yusus: (singing) We've got some vi-isitors for Yusus Tavoli.
(Yusus opens the front door, revealing Mummy Pig, Peppa, and Robert.)
Mummy Pig: Let's go camping everyday, bro!
Cameraman: That wasn't in the script, child.
Mummy Pig: There isn’t even a script.
Cameraman: There is, my good daughter.
Donald Duck: I shall build a wa-
Cameraman: You’re hired, my good son Donald.
Donald Duck: What about my nephews?
Cameraman: They, my children, shall be the script consultants.
Mummy Pig: STOP ACTING LIKE MARVEY OR I WILL FU-
(Later...)
Anwale Looges: Now that we've finished rehearsing, you must try to follow the script again. If you mess up, you will receive a warning. And if you continually ignore your warning, you will get inflated. (points to an advanced inflation machine) Do you understand?
Mummy Pig: Yes, but do I get paid for this?
Anwale Looges: Yep. Infinity dollars.
Peppa: What about me?
Anwale Looges: I'm sorry, but you're too young.
Peppa: Fuck you.
Anwale Looges: It's bacon time!
(Anwale attempts to drag Peppa into the inflation machine.)
Mummy Pig: LET GO OF MY DAUGHTER, YOU SICK...
(Proto Man shoots Anwale, causing him to faint and let go of Peppa.)
Mummy Pig: Thank you, Proto Man.
Peppa: I think Anwale might be a pedophile.
Mummy Pig: I wouldn’t be surprised if he is one. Especially considering that everywhere we go, all these nonces follow us.
Cameraman: (offscreen) Action.
(The doorbell rings.)
Yusus: (singing) We've got some vi-isitors for Yusus Tavoli.
(Yusus opens the front door and sees Mummy Pig, Peppa, and Robert.)
Robert Raccoon: Tally ho!
Yusus: Hey everyone! Nice to see you about to meet my band.
Mummy Pig: What do you mean by “nice to see you about to meet my band”? Isn’t it already nice for you to meet us?
Yusus: Well, duh! We have a special and sacred greeting for visitors.
Jingus: Jingus Mavingus.
Yusus: Yusus Tavoli.
Olson: Olson Hammer.
The Band: (make a strange hand gesture) Welcome.
Mummy Pig: Is this some sort of cult?
Yusus: Well, many of our critics have called us a cult, so I suppose we are.
(Jingus and Olson shrug.)
Robert Raccoon: Can I join?
Yusus: No.
Robert Raccoon: Oh. Well, to be truthful, I could establish a faith movement of my own based around healing.
Olson: Cool.
Mummy Pig: To be honest, Yusus Tavoli's music is a bit shit.
(Suddenly, Yusus holds up a shotgun and shoots Mummy Pig, sending her flying. A laugh track plays.)
Jingus: That's what she gets.
Olson: Yep.
Robert Raccoon: By the way, I'm a big fan of your music.
Yusus: Suppose you can center your cult around me and my band? Since you're a huge fan and all.
Robert Raccoon: Sure! I think I'm going to call it something cool like the The Yusus Tavoli New Age Experience because I don't want it to be boring.
Yusus: Sounds great. Come in for some tea and ravioli.
Robert Raccoon: Alright.
(Peppa and Robert Raccoon are escorted inside the band's house by Yusus himself.)
Peppa: What's up with you and ravioli?
Yusus: It's a sacred pasta, the greatest food we've been blessed with.
Peppa: Oh. I just want to know what are your thoughts on spaghetti?
Yusus: Not as holy as ravioli, but still delicious.
Robert Raccoon: I love ravioli. It's the food of luxury.
Yusus, Jingus, and Olson: Yeah.
Yusus: Our butler will serve us ravioli, and one of the ravioli is the special and sought-after golden flavor.
Robert Raccoon: Ooh! I can't wait to try it!
Peppa: Me too.
Yusus: And don't forget, all of us will recite the ravioli chant as a blessing.
Peppa: What's the ravioli chant anyways?
Yusus: It goes like this. (ahem) Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei. Chipul tău și dragostea din tei, mi-amintesc de ochii tăi.
Peppa: I don't know if I can recite all that.
Robert Raccoon: It takes time to memorize, Peppa. Even I can do it. (recites chant) Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei. Chipul tău și dragostea din tei, mi-amintesc de ochii tăi.
Peppa: Well, I can't.
Yusus: Then, repeat after me. Vrei să pleci dar.
Peppa: Vrei să pleci dar.
(Several minutes of practicing the ravioli chant later...)
(The butler arrives with cups of tea and plates of ravioli.)
Robert Raccoon: Your butler's ravioli looks delicious.
Yusus, Jingus, and Olson: Yeah.
Butler: Grazie, e buon appetito.
Yusus: Alright. All at once now!
(Everyone starts to simultaneously recite the ravioli chant in a monotonous manner. However, Peppa says the wrong words.)
Everyone except Peppa: Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei. Chipul tău și dragostea din tei, mi-amintesc de ochii tăi.
Peppa: Pray some blech dar, nu ma nu ma ey, nu ma nu ma ey, nu ma nu ma nu ma ey. Keep it down, she rag old slutty day, now my task the olky day.
(Everybody is handed over their plates of ravioli and begin to eat.)
Peppa: Mmm-mm!
(Suddenly, Peppa starts to inflate.)
Peppa: Why do I feel like I'm about to explode? (looks at reflection on silverware) Oh no.
Robert Raccoon: Why is Peppa inflating?
Yusus: She must have messed up the ravioli chant, cursing the ravioli.
Peppa: This is all Anwale's fault! He was the one who tainted my ravioli and came up with that stupid chant.
Jingus: Oh, devil! How do we stop this?!
Yusus: By feeding her more ravioli of course.
Jingus: Let's try it.
(Jingus starts to feed Peppa golden ravioli.)
Peppa: I feel worse now.
Yusus: Maybe I shouldn't have suggested that.
(Peppa starts to inflate more quickly.)
Peppa: I just want this to stop!
(Jingus picks up Peppa and squeezes her body, hoping that in doing so she will deflate.)
Peppa: Why am I still blowing up?
Jingus: (drops Peppa) This doesn't help at all either.
Olson: How about we poke her with a fork so she'll pop?
Yusus: Only as a last resort if nothing else works.
Robert Raccoon: Perhaps a laxative would do the trick.
Yusus: Possibly.
(Robert feeds a laxative to Peppa. However, she begins to quickly swell bigger and slightly deflate each second.)
Yusus: Nope.
Peppa: This is getting out of hand!
Cameraman: Cut!
Jingus: Well, looks like we just have to go with the fork option. Stand back, everyone.
(Everyone steps back. Jingus grabs a fork and inches it toward Peppa's belly. Just as she is about to get popped, Mummy Pig runs into the scene.)
Mummy Pig: WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!
Peppa: Anwale put something in my ravioli that's causing me to inflate, and now this guy is trying to pop me.
Mummy Pig: Not surprised if it was him who tainted your ravioli. That nonce is dense in the head and I'd happily beat the shit out of him the next time I see him.
Yusus, Jingus, and Olson: Yeah.
Peppa: I feel sick.
(Though not shown, Peppa sharts on the floor and deflates. Everyone groans in disgust from this.)
Jingus: Tell the janitor to clean that shit up!
Mummy Pig: And tell him to bring that pervert, as I would like to have a word with him.
Executive producer: Alright!
(Later, after the janitor had already finished cleaning up, he walks up to Anwale laying on the floor.)
Janitor: Wake up, mister.
Anwale Looges: What is it, sir?
Janitor: Pamela Pig wants to talk with you.
(Anwale gets up and walks toward Mummy Pig.)
Anwale Looges: What's up?
Mummy Pig: You force me and my daughter to appear on some awful trainwreck reality show and you threaten to have her “inflated” just because she wants money. And then for no bloody reason, I'm flown into the air against my will and the moment I come back, my daughter's a goddamn balloon! So stitch this mate! (slaps Anwale)
Anwale Looges: If you regret appearing on the show, then let it be. It's getting cancelled anyway. Besides, almost everything that happened was part of the script, 100% written by me. And the part where your daughter inflates after eating a raviolo, that was a, uh, "special effects" trick.
Mummy Pig: She told me you tainted her ravioli, so that's bullshit.
Anwale Looges: Well, I must admit, that's correct. I laced her ravioli with inflation pills.
Mummy Pig: Pedofino.
Anwale Looges: PEDOFIDO!
(Anwale rapidly punches Mummy Pig in the face a dozen times, giving her a black eye, then lifts her up and throws her to a wall.)
Mummy Pig: OH NO YOU DON'T!
(Mummy Pig gets back up and throws her body against Anwale, knocking him to the ground. She then twists his arms and legs into a pretzel and bites his nose off before lifting him and throwing him up into the sky, where he is hit by a plane.)
Mummy Pig: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!
Yusus: Thank you for saving us from that pervert.
Jingus: He forced us to star in his own episode.
Mummy Pig: Glad I could be of service with taking out the trash, or as I often say, carrying out the rubbish. Anyways, there's a special place in hell for that nonce. Good riddance.
Yusus, Jingus, and Olson: Yeah.
(Cut to Anwale, disfigured and with his nose mutilated, in Hell, getting roasted. In the background, Stanley Strangeman is spinning on the Sodafilm Super Projector.)
Stanley Strangeman: You’ll bloat down here. We all bloat down here. In Hell. (laughs)
(Mummy Pig walks back into her hotel room, carrying the infinity dollars that Anwale promised.)
Peppa: I'm glad that we're no longer held hostage by that creep and you have your money.
Mummy Pig: Yes. We're beyond rich, now that we have infinity dollars.
Anwale Looges: (offscreen) Hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: You have got to be kidding me.
Anwale Looges: (offscreen) Can someone help? I'm being salted.
Mummy Pig: No, and stay in Hell where you belong.
Marvey: (offscreen) My son is crying for help in the dark underworld. Please, show mercy for him.
Mummy Pig: Nope. Let him suffer.
Marvey: (offscreen) I shall not. He is a good son of mine. If you are courageous enough, you must go on a journey, deep down into the underworld, to save Anwale.
Mummy Pig: Why doesn't he just go save himself?
Marvey: (offscreen) The restraining orders.
Anwale Looges: (offscreen) I'm about to get eaten by demons.
Mummy Pig: Well, they better chew slowly with their mouths closed. Alright?
Marvey: (offscreen) My great Pamela, you must sacrifice your life to save Anwale!
Mummy Pig: Why don't you?
(short pause which lasts for a couple seconds)
Marvey: (offscreen) Ho...
Mummy Pig: Didn't I tell you I'm not a prostitute? Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna do a little celebration.
(Mummy Pig rolls up the infinity dollar bill and uses it to snort cocaine.)
Peppa: Mummy, isn't that illegal?
Mummy Pig: (singing) I feel fantastic. Hey, hey, hey.
Peppa: Did you hear what I just said?
(Peppa and Mummy Pig transform into Robert Raccoon and Tara the Android, respectively.)
Robert and Tara: (singing) You feel fantastic. Hey, hey, hey.
(Robert morphs into Timburr and Tara turns back into Mummy Pig.)
Timburr: From now on, I will appear in every Sweet Sow episode.
Mummy Pig: Oh Hell no!
(They transform into Mister Potato and Stubb the Clown.)
Mister Potato: Long time no see, old friend.
Stubb the Clown: Let's get down to business and dine on a bunch of kids.
Mister Potato: Sounds swell!
(They transform into Howdy Doody and Adolf Hitler.)
Adolf Hitler: Ee-oh-ee-do-hee, er-ruh. (Eat Howdy Doody, Bertram.)
Howdy Doody: Well gee, I'd hate to say this to anyone but you sir are purely and simply evil.
(They transform into Naota Nandaba and Haruko Haruhara.)
Haruko: Under the band-aid, what's it like? Tell me.
Naota: I don't know.
Haruko: You're lying. You saw it.
Naota: Something strange is happening.
Haruko: What are you hiding under the band-aid?
Naota: You did it, didn't you?
Haruko: You should know about your own head!
Naota: Because you hit me there!
Haruko: Let's see it!
(They transform into Ronald Reagan and Santa Claus.)
Ronald Reagan: I have one thing to say. Mr. Santa Claus, tear down this wall!
Santa Claus: Mr. Reagan, I think you're talking to the wrong person.
(They transform into the duo Fair Control, each member playing the guitar and keyboard, respectively.)
Fair Control: It's the symphony of love, never gonna lose it-
(They transform into Brian Griffin and Rick Astley who are dancing.)
Rick Astley: Never gonna give you up.
Brian Griffin: Never gonna let you down.
(They transform into Harry Potter and Popeye, then into George and Daddy Pig, then into Mega Man and Dr. Light, then into Shinji Ikari and Misato Katsuragi, then into Baby Doc and Papa Doc, then into Akachanman and Anpanman, then into various other characters and people. Finally, they transform back into Peppa and Mummy Pig, dizzy from morphing into numerous different characters.)
Voice: Go to sleep, children.
(They both faint.)
Voice: There, there. Good night, children.
(After a few seconds, the police suddenly break in through the windows. Peppa quickly hides underneath the blanket on one of the beds.)
Mummy Pig: What the fuck was that for?
Officer: (in Krockian) You're under arrest for possession of cocaine.
Mummy Pig: I don't understand what you mean by that.
(The police start shooting laser guns at Mummy Pig, but she dodges the lasers, and avoids robot dogs trying to attack her.)
Mummy Pig: HEELP!
(Cut to Mummy Pig in a prison cell.)
Mummy Pig: (sighs) Days of delight are adrift…
(After two months has passed, the door opens and Mummy Pig walks out of her cell. The camera cuts to a taxi dropping her off at the Vívíví.)
Mummy Pig: (thinking) I wonder where Peppa is now. I hope she hadn't gone missing.
(She walks to the Vívíví and meets the guard.)
Mummy Pig: I want to return to my mega deluxe hotel room, please.
Guard: I am sorry, but you are banned from this building.
Mummy Pig: I need to know where my daughter is, so let me in right now.
Guard: Sorry, but we can't. You snuck in both a child and an illegal drug.
Mummy Pig: Let me in right now or I'll make your life a living hell!
Guard: (in Freddy Krueger's voice) It’s time to meet your worst nightmare, bitch!
Mummy Pig: Oh shit!
(The guard transforms into Freddy Krueger.)
Freddy Krueger: Welcome to your death, bitch!
(A withered Peppa appears suddenly in front of Freddy Krueger; his claws stabbing through her entire neck and body and her blood gushing out rapidly.)
Mummy Pig: Oh no, you ain't- PEPPA!
Peppa: Mummy, I don't feel so well.
(Mummy Pig pulls Peppa out of Freddy's claws.)
Mummy Pig: How dare you do this to my daughter!
Freddy Krueger: That is what Hell feels like.
Mummy Pig: I've been to Hell and it's much more relaxing than this.
Freddy Krueger: Oh, really? You haven't experienced enough Hell to feel the sensations of it.
Mummy Pig: Hell, Michigan. What did you think I was going to say?
Peppa: Take me to the hospital now.
Mummy Pig: We're too far from one right now. Maybe later.
Freddy Krueger: It starts to get hot, and soon it's sizzling.
Peppa: Feels like we're both being burned alive.
Freddy Krueger: You feel like you're about to melt.
Peppa: But that can't even realistically happen though.
(The Vívíví starts to melt slowly.)
Freddy Krueger: You start to hear the screams of the suffering, the cries of "hee-hee" and "shamone".
Voice: Melt with me, my young heartfelt child! Hee-hee!
Peppa: I can't.
Voice: Of course you can, dear child, as it is a mastery you have only recently acquired. Now shamone alongside me and slowly melt away, young one. Hee-hee!
Peppa: Actually, I think I can.
Mummy Pig: Peppa, no!
(Peppa starts to slowly melt, as “Mr. Sandman” by The Chordettes plays in the background.)
Mummy Pig: Stop!
Peppa: It's too late now. Hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: Stop it! For god's sake, stop it! Stop it! Stop it! JUST STOP IT!
Peppa: Beat it! (scats) Shamone! Hee-hee! OOOOOOH!
Mummy Pig: Get out of my daughter right now! I SAID RIGHT NOW!
Peppa: You can't tell me what to do, little girl. This is for my dear Michael.
Mummy Pig: YES I CAN! I AM YOUR MOTHER AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I SAY!
Peppa: No, you're not.
Mummy Pig: YES I AM! YES I AM! YES I AM!
Peppa: No, you're just a little girl who claims that she is the one. But the kid is not my ma. Shamone!
Mummy Pig: First off, I'm a grown ass woman. Second, I am your mother.
Peppa: Oh Pamela, you're so ignorant!
Mummy Pig: Well, you're the one who's ignorant.
Peppa: No, it's you, for calling me Wacko Jacko and shooting me with your laser eyes.
Mummy Pig: I had to, though.
Peppa: Why?
Mummy Pig: I thought that Michael had fully manifested you and there was no way that you could be saved.
Peppa: Well, there's no way you can keep me from being with my father now.
Mummy Pig: Actually, there is.
Peppa: What is it?
Mummy Pig: Grab my hand and you'll see.
(Peppa places her melting hand onto Mummy Pig's hand.)
Peppa: (in Stanley Strangeman's voice) Silly kiddie! You'll float too! In fact, we all float down here! (giggles)
Mummy Pig: The fuck?
Peppa: (in Michael Jackson's voice) Very ignorant of you child. Very ignorant of you indeed! Hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: Get out of Peppa right now!
Peppa: (in Anwale's voice) I don't understand what you mean by that. Anyways, if you yell at me one more time, then there will be consequences, ma'am. I will have to inflate you if you do not listen. Alright?
Mummy Pig: Whatever. I will not let you take my daughter's life!
Peppa: (in Freddy Krueger's voice) Too late, bitch!
Mummy Pig: What's going on?
Peppa: (in Marvey's voice) Spiritual conflict, my daughter.
(Peppa's melting face begins morphing into several different characters; often switching back-and-forth between characters.)
Mummy Pig: Is this some kind of drug trip?
Peppa: (as Marvey) Go back to bed, my dearest Pamela. Fall asleep and dream, as you are very unwell.
Mummy Pig: I'm too stressed to go to sleep.
Peppa: (as Freddy Krueger) I CAN PUT YOU TO SLEEP THEN!
Mummy Pig: How about no.
Peppa: (as Stanley Strangeman) Do you want a blanket?
(Peppa holds up a blanket made entirely from skin.)
Peppa: Here take it.
Mummy Pig: Hell no!
Peppa: (as Michael Jackson) I can sing a bedtime song for you, little girl.
Mummy Pig: You can stick your bedtime song up your arse.
Peppa: (as Marvey) Sleep...
Mummy Pig: NO!
Peppa: Sleep!
(A blue gas flies from Peppa's hands.)
Mummy Pig: Why do I all of a sudden feel dizzy?
Peppa: (as Michael Jackson, singing) Go to sleep, little girl, you will see me in your dreams, hee-hee!
Mummy Pig: I can't deal with this no more. (faints)
Peppa: (as Stanley Strangeman) Sleep tight, child.
(Peppa throws the skin blanket from before onto Mummy Pig.)
Peppa: (as Michael Jackson) Ch'ka chamone-ah! I'm melting! Melting! Just like a wicked witch of the west. (scats) Farewell, dear children. Hee-hee...
(Peppa switches back to her original melting face, and becomes a puddle. The Vívíví has completely melted, revealing Hell.)
Freddy Krueger: (holding a frying pan) Wakey, wakey… EGGS AND BAKEY!
(Freddy beats Mummy Pig with the frying pan.)
Marvey: (offscreen) Halt!
Freddy Krueger: Who in the hell are you?
Marvey: (offscreen) Marvey Harvey, Harvey Marvey. My dearest Freddy, do not disturb a sleeping child of mine.
Freddy Krueger: She's already disturbed and thus, wanted to simply put her out of her misery.
Marvey: (offscreen) Shillé, and sleep.
Freddy Krueger: I NEVER SLEEP!
Marvey: (offscreen) Shall you refuse, I must call upon Ignacio to freeze you.
Freddy Krueger: I'LL SLICE YOU INTO TINY BITS AND PIECES, BITCH!
Marvey: (offscreen) Ignacio...
Freddy Krueger: IGNACIO IS DEAD!
Marvey: (offscreen) No. It can't be.
Freddy Krueger: YES IT IS!
(Suddenly, Freddy is frozen into ice.)
Marvey: (offscreen) Ah. I have been deceived.
(Mummy Pig wakes up.)
Mummy Pig: What in the bloody hell was that?
(Mummy Pig stands up and looks at the now-melted Peppa.)
Mummy Pig: (sighs) I just don't know what to do now.
(She continues to look at her puddle of a daughter. Marvey walks out of Hell, carrying Anwale Looges who he had rescued, with Stanley Strangeman and Michael Jackson following him.)
Marvey: The good deed has been done.
Mummy Pig: And just like that, you're back unfortunately. I wanted to get rid of you lot for good.
Anwale Looges: Try if you want, but I will always come back every time, thanks to Marvey.
Mummy Pig: Well, fuck Marvey!
Marvey: Pamela, do not disrespect your great father.
Mummy Pig: I don't care. You're not my dad.
Marvey: I am your father. You must sleep and give in to that fact.
Mummy Pig: Never.
Anwale Looges: Have an open mind, Pamela. If you accept Marvey as your father, it will bring you many advantages.
Stanley Strangeman: Marvey is one of the most amazing people around.
Michael Jackson: Dear father saved us from that wretched place known as Hell.
Mummy Pig: Fine.
Marvey: Sleep, my great daughter.
Mummy Pig: Okay, then.
(Mummy Pig lies on the ground and sleeps.)
Marvey: Now you shall achieve the grand luxury of dreaming, my dear child.
(Marvey's head detaches from his neck and zooms close into the screen.)
Marvey: (in an eerie voice) Hom...
(Marvey's head slides off to the left, transitioning to Mummy Pig's dream.)
(Mummy Pig is seen walking in a vast, bright white room surrounded by nothingness. Peppa appears far from her, prompting her to run to her daughter. Suddenly, Freddy Krueger appears in front of Peppa and pulls a lever, which triggers a trap door to open beneath her feet, and she falls into it. The trap door leads to a staircase. She tumbles down the stairs and falls into a place which resembles Hell.)
Mummy Pig: What the hell is this place?
(She looks around and sees people being tortured inhumanely. One person is being attacked by a swarm of bees, and one is spinning on the Super Projector.)
Mummy Pig: What the fuck?!
Voice: (offscreen) Pamela Pig, it's your turn.
Mummy Pig: No.
(Suddenly, Mummy Pig is bound to a cross.)
Mummy Pig: I said no!
(Out of nowhere, a butcher holding a knife appears.)
Mummy Pig: Get away! Get away right now!
(The butcher gets struck by lightning and explodes, then the cross breaks apart setting Mummy Pig free.)
Mummy Pig: Burn in hell, dickhead!
(The camera pans up to the sky to reveal Marvey.)
Marvey: No one shall inflict suffering on an innocent woman. Come to me.
(Mummy Pig flies up to the black abyss where Marvey and his "sons" are standing. They are: Ignacio, Michael Jackson, Anwale Looges, Stanley Strangeman, and Phallace the Clown.)
Mummy Pig: Thank you for rescuing me.
Marvey: You are welcome, child.
Mummy Pig: By the way, where's my daughter?
Marvey: Peppa... has had elections end of her.
Mummy Pig: What do you mean by elections?
Marvey: She could not bond with you, due to interference by an opposing force. If you want, I may send a package containing Peppa directly to you.
Mummy Pig: Alright. You better send me the damn thing right now.
Marvey: Keep patience. It may take a while.
Mummy Pig: Fine. I will try.
Marvey: I have something personal that I shall not speak in front of my children.
Mummy Pig: What is it?
(The background fades to a room with a sky wallpaper, and Marvey's "sons" disappear.)
Marvey: Pamela, my love for you has no bounds.
Mummy Pig: I love you too dearly, father.
Marvey: Now, prepare to be christened as my greatest daughter. This will be irreversible, and you cannot opt out.
Mummy Pig: (breathes deeply) I'm ready.
(Marvey takes off his shirt, revealing his old, wrinkled torso. The dream ends at this point, and Mummy Pig wakes up.)
Mummy Pig: What the hell was that?
Marvey: Only an illusion, my dearest Pamela.
Mummy Pig: I think I almost had sex with you in my dream.
Marvey: My great daughter, that is the greatest gift of life.
Mummy Pig: Well, screw you. I'd never do it with you. That's nasty.
Marvey: It is not nasty, my dear child. It is nature.
Mummy Pig: It's because you're old.
Marvey: I am not old, my dear child. I am simply a being that has existed for dozens upon dozens of years.
Mummy Pig: Aren't you hundreds of years ol-
Marvey: Silence!
Mummy Pig: Don't deny it.
Marvey: Entrust my words, daughter.
Mummy Pig: Whatever. By the way, can you bring back my daughter?
Marvey: I shall attempt, my dearest Pamela.
(Marvey starts to make strange hand gestures.)
Mummy Pig: Get on with it!
Marvey: I must calculate first.
Mummy Pig: Calculate what?
Marvey: This process.
(Marvey continues with his weird hand movements. The puddle that was once Peppa starts to become solid and emerges from the ground as a blob-like shape.)
Mummy Pig: Oh, come on. You can do better than this.
(The shape reforms into a symmetrical star-like body with the head of Peppa.)
Marvey: It is best to be patient with this procedure, dearest daughter.
(Peppa is given a body which resembles that of a penguin.)
Peppa: Mummy! What's happening?
Mummy Pig: Marvey's trying to get you back to normal.
(Peppa's body is shaped to resemble that of Mega Man.)
Peppa: Still not normal.
(Then shaped to resemble Mario.)
Peppa: (doing Italian accent) It's-a me, Peppa!
(And finally, Peppa's body goes back to normal.)
Marvey: Perfection.
Peppa: Can we leave now? I've suffered enough already.
Mummy Pig: Yes, Peppa. Let's go somewhere else.
(Both Peppa and Mummy Pig start heading out.)
Marvey: My work on Earth is done.
(Marvey floats up. The camera cuts to Peppa and her mother walking.)
Peppa: Mummy, where's our infinity dollars?
(short pause as Mummy Pig remembers that she left her infinity dollars at the Vívíví prior to it melting down.)
Mummy Pig: Shit.
The End.
Alternate Ending[]
Peppa: Can we leave now? I've suffered enough already.
Mummy Pig: Alright. I'll take you to-
The End.
Trivia[]
- In the Island of Soda, statements which refer to Anwale Looges as an "extraterrestrial being" are censored.
- The Super Projector is a film projector manufactured by the Sodium company Sodafilm. It operates using a manual lever, which spins at an extremely high speed.